Prologue: Meeting at Townsville City Hall: CN City Edit

The Mayor of Townsville: People of Townsville, Peach Creek and er... well, everyone part of this illustrious city. Thank you all for coming.

Eddy: Yeah yeah, let's get this over with, I was just about to pull my best scam!

Mayor: If you don't keep quiet I'll place a city wide ban on scams!

Eddy: Yes sir...

Mayor: Now then. As many of you know, we've all been canned-

Chicken: Yeah? But we all still get royalties from-

Mayor: Are you the man behind the podium!? Didn't think so! Ahem, as I was saying, due to the popularity Cartoon Network's modern programing receives, as well as connections to certain creatures on the internet, including one, er, Mr. Enter? The owners at CN have cut our funding.

Everyone: That's horrible! How'll we live! Where could we even-

Mayor: QUIET! What we've got here is a loss of relevance. Some things can't last forever, and then we'd be faced with predicaments like these. I don't like it anymore than you people.

Chicken: Alright captain, how about we try to be like those new shows? Then CN might air us again. What's cool on CN these days?

Dexter: Well according to my research, Cartoon Network has become more of a comedic channel.

Bloo: Alright, so we'll all reboot ourself as comedies, it's foolproof!

Robin: Don't. We tried it, it didn't work.

Bloo: Eh?

Cyborg: Let us show y'all.

*the titans morph into their TTG incarnations*

Robin: We thought this was a good way to re-reach our fans. Unfortunately, now we're the second most hated show of all time.

Beast Boy: Even though other shows are similar to ours.

Edd: Oh dear.

Chicken: So what you're telling us is that Cartoon Network is nothin' more than a comedic wasteland?

Starfire: Not so! There is this one magical program that unites peace and crystals!

*All are confused*

Raven: Just watch.

*They all go to a nearby TV shop. Steven Universe is playing.*

Robin: This is-

Eddy: No way! Steven Universe!

Johnny Bravo: You know about this?

Eddy: Double D showed me.

Edd: It certainly is an interesting show. I never got to see an episode in full, but I did get the gist of it through various clips on YouTube.

*everyone watches the episode. Avarita by Deadmau5 plays as they watch in awe*

Numbuh 1: It's.. It's... It's good. Too good.

Numbuh 5: Numbuh 5 thinks you're on to something. It's too good for Cartoon Network.

Edd: It makes you wonder how those Gems feel about working with the other programs.

Lazlo: I'll bet they all get along just fine.

Edward: You know, every time you act positive an angel looses its lunch.

Scene 2: The Gems appear Edit

*Steven, Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst are sitting on the swings at a park*

Steven: Do you guys like working at the network?

Pearl: Well, it's not bad, not spectacular, but certainly doable.

Garnet: It's tolerable.

Amethyst: I could live with it if you could.

*Muscle Man comes by*

Muscle Man: Hey Garnet. You know who else wears a visor to cover a deformity?

Garnet: No, but do you know anyone else who thinks making the same joke is funny?

Muscle Man: Nobody questions my jokes!

*Muscle Man throws hot oil into the four's faces*

Muscle Man: You know who else got hot oil in her face? MY MOM!

*the four scream in pain as Mordecai and Rigby arrive to shout "OH!".

*Steven wakes up in his room as the other gems get up.*

Garnet: Another Regular Show nightmare?

Steven: Yeah. You guys too?

*the three nod.*

In the Living Room Edit

Steven: We really shouldn't have chosen Regular Show as our sponsor.

Amethyst: Seemed like a smart idea at the time. Our first five episodes bombed and we needed another show to make us stand out, and then boom, here we are now.

Pearl: Yep, one of the best shows of all time.

Steven: Why don't we just ditch those guys?

Amethyst: Yeah, maybe we could go with that Uncle Grandpa guy, he seems cool.

Pearl: As much as I would like to agree with you both, we're all under contract, and I can't imagine what we'd be facing if we went against it. We'll just have to persevere until we come across some form of home.

*Steven and Amethyst give an annoyed grunt*

Pearl: Come on, considering our success, we could all out-live Regular Show and we could find a better sponsor.

Steven: I guess so. Can't imagine what any of those guys would do to us though.

*Connie's knocking on the door. Steven answers it.*

Steven: Hey Connie, what's up?

Connie: You need to see this.

*she hands him a note*

Pearl: What is it Steven?

Steven: They're taking us to court...

Pearl: Excuse me?

Connie: No time to explain, we only have five minutes to get to the courthouse.

*They head out. They call a cab and they head through a crudely drawn city.*

*Vasoline by Stone Temple Pilots plays as the credits appear*

Harvest Entertainment presents

A Leisure Films Production

In association with Laney/Novice Productions

Cartoon Cartoons Unite

Scene 3: The Trial Edit

Judge: Next case. Mordecai and Rigby vs. Steven Universe and the Crystal Gems. The defendant shall take the stand.

Rigby: Your honor, we've brought you all here to reflect on a crime so vial, it puts Teen Titans Go to shame.

Judge: And what is this crime?

Rigby: Glad you asked your honor. Mordecai, play back that... terrible incident.

Mordecai: How did I get stuck doing your work?

Tape 1 Edit

*the video shows Pearl and Amethyst at the park. Rigby approaches them wearing odd clothes*

Rigby: Yo! Feel me! How do I feel?

Pearl: Like something that eats out of a dumpster every night.

Rigby: Don't I feel cool?

Amethyst: Yeah. About as cool as the Human Torch in a tanning bed in a toaster oven in a burning building in a volcano on the sun.

Tape ends Edit

Rigby: As you could see your honor, these gems are liable for... *sniff, daring to think I was uncool.

Pearl:'ve got to be kidding...

Rigby: Does it look like we're kidding you pale creep!?

Amethyst: Hey! Back off!

Rigby: Shut up! Let's move on to your dull leader.

Tape 2 Edit

*a similar setting is shown with Mordecai and Garnet*

Mordecai: Do you think I'm cool?

Garnet: No.

Tape 2 ends Edit

Amethyst: Your honor, this is a waste of court time! We could be doing stuff that's-

Judge: Overruled!

Garnet: Perhaps I could shed some light on this. *Ahem. Mordecai and Rigby's means of being cool don't revolve around adapting to or flourishing social norms or being in line with the current era. They rely on a decade that has long passed and through embodying quirks from said decade they come off as nerdy rather than anything resembling cool.

Connie: Uh... think you could just give us the gist?

Garnet: The two are hipsters your honor.

Judge: Case dismissed.

Mordecai/Rigby: This isn't fair!!!!

Scene 4: In the car Edit

Mordecai: Why are you mad at us? Me and Rigby are supposed to be mad at you-

Amethyst: You just sued us! Why're we even in the same car!?

*a video chat is started on Connie's phone. It's Christina Miller*

Christina: Hello everyone, hope you're doing alright.

Pearl: I guess.

Christina: Uh, you sure? You all look mad, miserable, on the verge of spontaneous combustion-

Garnet: Don't worry about it.

Christina: Ok... Anyway, I just came to remind you that a new episode is due by the end of the week, no later. Goodbye. *hangs up*

Steven: The end of the week's gonna be tough.

Connie: Yeah, we have reservations at The Cheesecake Emporium.

Pearl/Amethyst: Ssshh!

Rigby: Wait, you're all going to the Cheesecake Emporium?

Mordecai/Rigby: OOOOOOHHHHHHH!

Garnet: We, and by we, I mean Steven, Connie, Amethyst, Pearl and myself received free reservations because unlike you, we're good enough for such a reward.

Mordecai: Oh that's a load of crap, why do you guys get to go but we can't? Three of you don't even need to eat!

Pearl: We're going to show our appreciation and to supervise Steven and Connie.

Rigby: Whatever, in spite of you we're going.

Amethyst: Why? So you could guilt us into paying for everything?

Mordecai: Yeah, sounds good.

Pearl: Alright, that's it! Pull over! Mordecai, Rigby, you're both walking!

*the two get out*

Outside Edit

*The car stops and the window opens, Mordecai and Rigby get sprayed in the eyes when looking through it*

Pearl: We'll give you one chance to redeem yourselves. Don't screw it up.

Rigby: You hear that? We get to go to the Cheesecake Emporium!


Pearl: Bring money!

Scene 5: Practically alike Edit

*at the park in CN City*

Bloo: It's weird. They're new, but they feel so... old.

Edd: Perhaps because the episode we've watched was from 2013?

Bloo: Aren't you supposed to be the smart one? What I mean is, if that show aired during our time, I don't think anyone would bat an eye.

Eustace: If Steven Universe aired in our time, George W. Bush wouldn't have been president, religious fanatics would die out, Elvis would still be kickin' and maybe I wouldn't have to deal with that stupid dog.

Numbuh 2: Yeah, but then you wouldn't have a show.

Eustace: Stupid boy! You ruined my happy thoughts!

Bloo: Still, it'd be cool if they were part of our era. If it was up to us, we'd make them immortal. Red carpet events, screening their show all over the city, the works! I'll bet they they're receiving the same kind of care and respect we'd give them

Scene 6: At the Emporium Edit

Rigby: How was I supposed to know it costs fifty bucks just to book a table!?

Pearl: I told you to bring money!

Mordecai: Fine, whatever. You guys have fun. We'll be here...

Pearl: Ugh, alright! Get inside.

Garnet: Pearl, don't.

Pearl: I don't want to put up with any more drama. Besides, what's the worst thing the two could do?

In The Cheesecake Emporium Edit

Mordecai: This restaurant is evil! They want to fatten you up with these ridiculous portions to serve you!

Rigby: Save yourselves!

*multiple supernatural tropes appear on screen*

Garnet: Your restaurant is beautiful. Uh, sorry for our stupid friends.

Pearl: We'll pay for- What the!?

Garnet: Something the matter?

*a note falls out from her wallet*

Pearl: "We needed the money to pay for some cool duds..." They didn't...

Rigby: Yo! Purple babe, why don't we go to that wasteland to hang out or whatever!?

Amethyst: Why don't you just LEAVE!

*Amethyst head-butts Rigby*

Mordecai: What's wrong with her?

Pearl: You'll see!

*Pearl and Amethyst beat up Mordecai and Rigby. The manager sprays them with a hose.*

Scene 7: At the lounge Edit

Amethyst: Sorry uh... again.

Steven: I don't blame you. I would've beaten those guys up too.

Amethyst: Would've been great if those guys got booted off the network for acting like idiots.

Pearl: Unfortunately, that's what the network is these days. Morons and ugliness.

*Marceline approaches them*

Marceline: Hey Steven, your dad wanted me to send this to you. *hands him a letter and leaves*

Steven: "It's Greg. Mordecai and Rigby invited me on some trip to an island. Turns out they're just doing it to redesign our hometown. Hope you're not there." That's it! I don't care anymore! I quit!

Amethyst: I'm with you on that!

*both high five*

Princess Bubblegum: You can't quit!

Amethyst: Oh yeah?

PB: No I mean you can't quit, you need to file a resignation form.

Amethyst: Oh... that makes sense.

Filling the form Edit

Pearl: Ok, our forms have each been accounted for. Are we good to go now?

Receptionist: *laughing* No, you can't quit the network, you ARE the network.

Outside Edit

Steven: Great. We can't quit and we can't resign.

Amethyst: We could get canceled.

Pearl: Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't think that'll work. They're keeping whatever they could on air. Besides, I don't want to go through the cancelation process.

Connie: Well what's so bad about it?

Five years ago Edit

Stuart Snyder: Well folks, it's been great having you on the network, but in hindsight, including live action programing was, well... my biggest mistake.

Andrew W.K.: Just show us the door, we don't want to hear no sob story.

Stuart: To your right.

Andrew W.K.: Ok guys, let's go try out for MTV, they'd kill for programs like-

*falls out of the air after walking through the door*

End Flashback Edit

Steven: For real?

Pearl: Yes. It's very unorthodox, but true.

Garnet: Let's do it...

Pearl: You can't be serious.

Garnet: It's our only chance.

Steven: I'm with Garnet on this one.

Amethyst/Connie: Me too.

Pearl: *sigh, fine. But I'm not taking responsibility if we get caught trying.

Scene 8: The office Edit

Christina: What do you mean the titans aren't available for new shoots? Just show reruns of older episodes. No, I didn't get a new Steven Universe episode yet. I wish I did. Hang on, I have a new message.

Amethyst *disgusing her voice*: Mrs. Miller ma'am, the executives at Turner Entertainment would like to speak with you in the lobby.

Christina: Alright. Gotta go.

*Christina exits the office. The gems enter.*

Pearl: Alright, me and Garnet will work on the cancelation, Connie, you watch the exit, Steven, Amethyst, you look for the cancelation door.

*behind the desk*

Garnet: Done. How're you doing Steven?

Steven: I'm not finding it.

Amethyst: Geez, why is it so hard to find something as simple as-

*accidentally triggers the door to open*

Steven: Found it.

*the two stand by the edge of the door. They leap and fall.*

*Higher Ground by Red Hot Chili Peppers plays*

Steven: We're gonna need something to break our fall!

Pearl: Quick! Grab Amethyst!

Amethyst: Wait, what!?

*they hold the top of her as they crash into the ground*

Steven: Amethyst! Are you alright!?

Amethyst: C-could you get off of me?

Connie: Finally, we're out!

Garnet: Yes, but we still need to find a new place to crash.

Steven: How far do we have to go to find a new network?

Garnet: I doubt we could even find another network.

*the two walk. Like a Stone by Audiosoave plays*

Scene 9: In the Woods Edit

Steven: Garnet?

Garnet: Yes Steven?

Steven: Are we going to die? I have a feeling we're going to die.

Garnet: It'd be better if you didn't get my answer.

Pearl: We should've just waited for Regular Show to end... Now we're going down at the hands of the cruel wilderness. This is our new home! *gets slapped by Garnet* Thanks...

Garnet: Let's just rest for now. *falls forward and goes to sleep.*

*the others fall asleep as well, as mysterious shadows appear.*

Scene 10: In the City Edit

*the five wake up to find themselves in bed.*

Connie: Where are we...?

Amethyst: I don't know, but it's better than being in the middle of the woods.

Steven *looking out the window*: Uh guys, you might want to see this.

*everyone sees they're in CN City.*

Pearl: I don't believe it. How did this happen?

*Connie sees a video tape on the coffee table and goes to play it*

Intro Tape Edit

Ashley: Hi! I'm Ashley. You might remember me from Thrillseeker, that one pilot that never got accepted. *mutters Thanks a lot. Welcome to Cartoon Network City, home to cartoon stars from yesteryear. True classics, guilty pleasures, shows that weren't that great in hindsight, you name it, all bundled together with landmarks modeled after the shows they starred in. We hope you enjoy your stay at CN City. *disclaimer, funding accommodations are no longer provided.*

Back to the room Edit

*they hear someone knocking on the door. Steven answers it*

Steven: AGH!

Eduardo: AAAAAUGH!

Steven: Why're you screaming!?

Eduardo: I,I, I was just wondering. Can I have your autograph?

Steven: What...?

Bloo: You're up, great! I'm Bloo. Me and the other toons found you outside of the city.

Steven: Well that's cool, thanks, but what's with the whole autograph thing?

Bloo: Oh, that. We saw your show. It was the best thing to ever happen to Cartoon Network. You guys are like, our heroes of a new generation.

Pearl: Wel gee, that means a lot.

Bloo: Good. Would you guys like a tour around the city?

Garnet: Might as well.

*they head out. Underneath it all by No Doubt plays*

Scene 11: Back at CN Edit

Christina: This isn't happening! We've somehow lost Steven Universe, and now our ratings are plummeting!

Nicole Waterson: I found this in Steven's house. *hands her a letter*

Christina: "We couldn't take the stupidity any longer." So Garnet. "P.S. Blame Regular Show."

Mordecai: What? How were we supposed to know they'd leave because of us?

Rigby: Maybe they couldn't resist our coolness.

Finn: So it's your fault we lost our best show!?

The toons begin to beat up Mordecai and Rigby and kick them out of the building.

End of the Tour Edit

Eddy: This has been the coolest day ever!

Connie: So what do you want to do now?

Edd:y Well, there's going to be a Billy Joel concert tonight. Yeah, not my best.

Steven: I could go for it.

Introducing the Villains Edit

Mordecai: First they called us hipsters, then they goy us kicked out of the Cheesecake Emporium and now they're claiming us for leaving. They've ruined us!

Uncle Grandpa: Not to mention you guys caused the networks ratings to sink lower than the competition.


UG: Good morning! *leaves*

Rigby: And now everyone hates our guts, and thinks we're not cool!

Mordecai: You know what? Why don't we just forget about it. They're going to show a stream of a Billy Joel concert.

Rigby: there's only one good thing about Billy Joel.


*a shoe is thrown at Mordecai's head*

Stream Edit

Rigby: Mordecai, look.

Mordecai: What?

Rigby: It's Steven, and Connie, and the Gems! But, where are they?

Mordecai: Use your head, they're at a concert.

Rigby: Yeah I get that, but what town is the concert in?

Mordecai: It's obviously CN City- Wait, CN City? How the heck did they even get there?

Rigby: I dunno, but are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Mordecai: You mean we convince the other shows to come with us to the city, get back at those guys and prove that we're the coolest dudes on the planet?

Rigby: I was gonna say that we should get pizza, but I like your idea. But how could we get everyone to come with us?

Mordecai: Leave it to the coolest guy in the room.

Rigby: What? I didn't come up with the idea.

*Mordecai hits Rigby*

Rigby: OW!

Summoning everyone Edit

Finn: Can't believe they drove Steven away.

Jake: What next? Are they going to drive Gumball away too?

Finn: Do you not have faith in our show?

Jake: Our newer seasons sucks eggs and you know it.

Mordecai: Attention please! The coolest duo on the network has arrived!

All: Shut up!

Rigby: We know where Steven Universe is!

Finn: Ok, you have our attention.

Mordecai: They're al in CN City.

UG *whispering to Finn*: Where the old shows live.

Gumball: So?

Rigby: They were kidnapped, for you see, the classic shows are uniting to take over the modern shows in an attempt to pander to the negative stereotypes of our fandom. Heck, they already got the Titans, haven't seen them in a long time.

*everyone mutters amongst themselves.*

Mordecai: Nice one dude.

Rigby: It all just came to me.

Gumball: What could we do?

Mordecai: All we have to do is find the city and destroy it and everyone who lives there.

Finn: But not Steven and his friends, right?

Mordecai: We'll see.

At the CN Cafe Edit

Bloo: So, do you guys like the city?

Steven: You kidding? I think we've found a new home!

Bloo: You really think so?

Pearl: We know so. It beats living with the modern programs.

Garnet: We'd be more than happy to live here.

Bloo: Great.

Eddy: So, been dying to ask, what made you guys want to move here?

Pearl: Well, we all got here by pure coincidence. What drove us away from the network in the first place was-

Numbuh 5: LOOK OUT!

*A van crashes into the table the characters are sitting at.*

*the modern toons come out and wreak havoc*

Bloo: What the heck is going on!?

Steven: We'll go investigate.

Confrontation Edit

Pearl: What are you two doing!?

Mordecai: We should be asking you the same thing, traitor!

Numbuh 1: Traitor? What is he talking about?

Rigby: Oh, they didn't tell you? The Gems led us to you. It was their plan all along to destroy your city in the name of coolness.

Edd: But, but, they liked-

Rigby: They're masters of lying. Do you really think they'd care for anyone besides the wellbeing of Steven's world? They would've left by now. Their place is on modern Cartoon Network, not with some old school trash.

*the two leave*

Amethyst: Eh-Heheheheh, you gotta love the stories these losers crank out, what do you say we kick these guys butts?

Edd: You don't like us...?

Pearl: What? We- you- you're seriously going to believe them!?

Eddy: How else did they get here!?

Pearl: Their arrival was unprecedented!

*the others leave*

Pearl: No! Please understand!

*looks at Steven and Amethyst*

Pearl: Steven? Amethyst?

Amethyst: ...GET BACK HERE!

*Steven and Amethyst run towards Mordecai and Rigby*

*M and R knock Steven and Amethyst down*

Rigby: Who's uncool now? *leaves*

Pearl: Steven! Amethyst! Say something!

Steven: You were right. We should've just stayed on the network.

Pearl: Don't talk like that! We need to help everyone!

Amethyst: Why? So we could get into more trouble? It was your idea to make us keep our mouths shut. If we listened to you, none of this would've happened...

Pearl: If we stayed... we would've been driven into insanity. It practically happened back at that restaurant. This city is our one escape from those guys, and we need to fight for it, even if we don't have any support.

Garnet: Besides, if we beat those guys, it might be enough to make the other toons like us again.

Steven: Sounds good to me.

Amethyst: Let's give it a shot.

Pearl: Thank you. Now we just have to figure out where Mordecai and Rigby are.

Connie: Try the abandoned cathedral.

Steven: What makes you think they're there?

Connie: Uh, duh? *pointing to a sign*

Lionel G. Wilson Memorial Cathedral: Ideal Hideout for Evil-doers.

A division of Evil Adult Inc.

Scene 12: In the Cathedral Edit

Eddy: What the heck were those things?

Ed: Isn't it obvious Eddy? They're BluJasaurus and Raccoonitus from Terror of the Junkyard!

Eddy: You're a riot ed.

Bloo: They should be here somewhere.

Mac: Why do you think there're here?

Bloo: Hello Mac? Didn't you read the sign?

Steven: Hey guys.


Garnet: Don't worry, it's us.


Pearl: We said it's just us.

Eddy: Yeah, and we said AAAAAAAGH!!!

Dexter: Why're you here anyhow? Shouldn't you be destroying the city with your real friends?

Steven: No, because our real friends are trying to save the city.

Chicken: Nice try. But once a modern show, always a modern show. Stick with your own kind.

Billy: Yeah. Now get lost, we're trying to find those evil guys and then we plan on beating you gems out of the city.

Mandy *slapping Billy*: Remember when I said being stupid was going to hurt.

Garnet: Let us help you out. *knocks down a pillar causing a domino effect*

Eddy: No wonder this place wasn't taken.

Edd: Look, a passageway.

Numbuh 1: They should be down here-

Eddy: Oh great!

Numbuh 1: What is it?

Eddy: Crossroads!

Pearl: I propose we.

Eddy: Yeah, yeah, like we're going to listen to some traitor modern shows. Let's go to the right.

*Eddy enters the right corridor and comes out soon after, visibly injured.*

Eddy: Hey guys, let's try the left one. Just follow the gems.

The Corridors Edit

Garnet: Three way...

Johnny: Sure, but first, how old is Ame- *gets hit in the back of the head by Pearl*

Pearl: That's not what she means! We'll have to split up.

Garnet: Right. I'll take the left, Pearl, you take the right and Amethyst you take the middle.

Amethyst: What about Steven and Connie?

Garnet: They could go with you. Everyone else could follow whoever they want.

*the groups enter the corridors*

Garnet's Team Edit

Jack: Stay behind.

Garnet: I'm leading this group.

Jack: I know better. You'd probably lead us to our deaths.

Garnet: I'm just trying to keep you all alive, why are you treating me like a criminal!?

Jack: Because you are!

*Garnet pulls Jack back and throws a boulder forward, triggering a poison dart trap*

Garnet: If you took another step, we all would've died.

Jack: Ah... thanks.

To Pearl's Team Edit

Edd: We're not sure if you fully understand, but we all care for our wellbeing, and we're not going to-

*Pearl equips her spear.*

Pearl: Stay back.

Eddy: I knew you were bad!

Pearl: Spike trap.

Eddy: Oh.

Amethyst's Team Edit

Numbuh 1: You know, I never really saw you as a true modern CN show. You're, oh what's the word?

Steven: Different?

Connie: Special?

Amethyst: Cartoon Network's answer to Gravity Falls?

Numbuh 1: Er, either works.

Amethyst: Hold it. *Kicks a rock, triggering a closing wall trap* Run before the walls get back into place! *runs*

Eustace: Even if you're modern, you're still better than that stupid dog of mine.

Courage *to himself*: If only the guys upstairs didn't take away my ability to talk clearly.

Eustace: Come to think of it, everyone's stupid. Too stupid to make me happy.

Amethyst: Uh *mutters, can't believe I have to revisit this.* Do you feel-

Eustace: Hey, I didn't ask for your opinion!

Amethyst: But you said-

Eustace: Just because you're better, it doesn't mean you're good! Especially considering you're a traitor.

Amethyst: That's not true!

Eustace: Just admit it now and we could all be happy.

Amethyst: Ok fine! I'm evil, I breathe evil, I think evil, heck *smells her pits* I smell pretty evil. Now can I please help you!?

Eustace: Eh, go ahead.

Amethyst: Ugh. Do you ever feel like you were only created to hate?

Eustace: Go on.

Pearl's Team Edit

Edd: I sure hope that we find a way out of this corridor.

Eddy: Don't tell me you're chicken sockhead.

Pearl: Hey, don't talk to your friend that way!

Edd: Uh, thank you Pearl.

Pearl: No problem. You want to keep balance with your friends. I'm on the same path as you.

Garnet's Team Edit

Jack: Sorry for doubting you.

Garnet: You're not the first. Happens to the best of us.

Scene switching montage Edit

Edd: If Eddy can't keep us together, I try to do just that.

Eustace: I just feel like I've outlived my usefulness.

Amethyst: If it wasn't for my friends, I would've played a part in destroying the world.

Pearl: I just want to keep order in my group, and by the end of it all, everything works out.

Edd/Eustace/Jack: Thanks for that.

Out of the Corridor Edit

Edd: Look.

*everyone notices something glowing in the distance*

Eddy: Has to be those guys.

Steven: You guys stay here, we'll deal with it.

Eddy: We're coming too.

Pearl: No, we'll handle it. It's the least we could do.

Eddy: Hey!

*the five look back*

Eddy: Be careful.

*the five nod and they continue forward*

Scene 13: Face to Face Edit

*Steven and Co. find Mordecai and Rigby curled up, facing away from them and muttering*

M/R: Just FurAffinity and the 80s combined. x3.

Pearl: Morde-


Pearl: Why did you do this?

Mordecai: You freaks ruined us! All of the modern shows hate us! Now we're evening the score.

Steven: Guys! You don't have to do this! We could help you-

Rigby: Listen to me kid. *gets close to Steven* We don't need your help.

Steven: We won't let you hurt anyone!

Mordecai: Oh yeah? Just watch.

*Mordecai and Rigby lunge towards the five and knocks each of them out*

The Cages Edit

*Steven and Co. wake up in a cage suspended over a gaping pit.*

Johnny: So uh, what exactly happened back there?

Amethyst: Well, what happened here? Where the heck are we?

Edd: Seems like our final resting place, unless we could find a way out of this.

Numbuh 1: Hey, do you guys see that ledge over there?

Johnny: I know what you're thinking. Let's rock the cages.

*everyone swings the cages, attempting to grab the ledge*

Steven: This is taking longer than it should.

Pearl: Amethyst, you know what to do.

*Amethyst brings out her whip and swings it at the ledge, pulling it forward.

Professor Utonium: Good thinking. Alright girls, do you thing.

PPGs: You got it professor!

*Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup fry the bars of the cage, allowing everyone to escape.*

Nearing the End Edit

*everyone finds that the modern shows' minds have been corrupted. They're sent to attack the heroes, but the heroes manage to fight back. Mordecai and Rigby approach them*

Mordecai: You shouldn't have escaped!

Garnet: Somebody needs to remind you of your mediocrity.

M/R: You will burn for your words!

*M and R fire a blast at everyone. Steven leaps in front of it*

All: Steven NO!

*Steven triggers his shield and the blast is deflected.*

Eustace: Well I'll be. You saved us.

Steven: Don't thank us just yet. You guys take care of the modern shows, me and my friends will handle Mordecai and Rigby.

*the five go to look for Mordecai and Rigby.*

Final Conflict Edit

*The five find Mordecai and Rigby at the edge of a cliff.*

Rigby: You've got to be kidding me!

Pearl: Mordecai, Rigby, it's over!

Mordecai: No! You're all still alive!

Pearl: What do you want from us!? What could we do to make you stop!?

Rigby: We want nothing more than to be the coolest people on the network, and what better way to do so than to annihilate the competition!?

Connie: There's a better way.

M/R: Eh?

Connie: The reason you two aren't cool is because you're not doing what's considered cool these days, and I know what it is.

M/R: Tell us, tell us tell us!

Connie: Dancing.

Pearl/Amethyst/Garnet: Hm?

Steven: Yeah! Show us your best moves, and afterwards, you could take us.

Rigby: Deal!

*the two dance*

Steven: Is that the best you could do?

Mordecai: Check this out!

*The two do a jump move, which causes them to fall back. The gems run to the edge and grab the two.*

Pearl: Don't worry, we've got you.

*Mordecai and Rigby begin to feel regret*

Rigby: No... It's better you don't.

*The two break from the gems' grip and they fall to their deaths. Everything begins to return to normal.*

Uncle Grandpa: Thanks for saving us. Anything we could do in return?

Steven: Well, it'd be great if you could let our friends know where we are. We want to stay here from now on.

UG: Sure, or we could try to convince the CEO to let you and the classic shows air alongside us.

Steven: Works too.

UG: Anything for my favorite nephew slash grandson. Good morning!

*the modern toons leave. The classic toons approach them.*

Bloo: Uh, thanks for saving us. Sorry we didn't believe you.

Amethyst: Don't worry about it, we wouldn't have believed us either.

*everyone laughs*

Scene 14: Final Scene Edit

*the gems are being led to the beach. They're blindfolded*

Johnny: Just a little closer.

Garnet: What are you trying to show us?

*they remove their blindfolds and they see that a replica of Steven's house was built.*

Steven: I, I don't know what to say.

Bloo: Well, a thank you would suffice. By the way, we heard from your friends, they'll be coming here soon.

Steven: Awesome! You guys are the best.

Eddy: Not as great as you guys. Or should I say, cartoon cartoons.

Credits Edit

Directed by Frank Novice and Lilly Laney

Cast: (various)

Written by Frank Novice, Lilly Laney, Anthony Page

Produced by Frank Novice, Lilly Laney, Brian Grispon, Anthony Page

Executives for Leisure Films: Brian Grispon and Anthony Page

Executives for Laney/Novice Productions: Frank Novice and Lilly Laney

Executives for Harvest Entertainment: Owen Proctor, Elliot Corning, Aaron Morse, Carter Galliard and Brian Grispon



Performed by deadmau5

Courtesy of mau5trap, Astralwerks

American Boy

Performed by Estelle and Kanye West

Courtesy of Atlantic Records and HomeSchool Records


Performed by Stone Temple Pilots

Courtesy of Atlantic Records

Pardon Me

Performed by Incubus

Courtesy of Epic Records and Immortal Records

Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)

Performed by Billy Joel

Courtesy of Columbia Records

Like a Stone

Performed by Audioslave

Courtesy of Epic Records and Interscope Records

Underneath it All

Performed by No Doubt

Courtesy of Interscope Records

Say it Right

Performed by Nelly Furtado

Courtesy of Geffen Records and Mosley Music Group

I Think I'm Paranoid

Performed by Garbage

Courtesy of Almo Sounds


Performed by The Cranberries

Courtesy of Island Records

Sweetness Follows

Performed by R.E.M.

Courtesy of Warner Bros. Records

Higher Ground

Performed by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Courtesy of Universal Music Group

In the Waiting Line

Performed by Zero 7

Courtesy of Palm Pictures

Distributed by Harvest Entertainment

This film is protected under copyright law. Re-distribution of this motion picture is illegal. All perpetrators shall be subject to pay a $25,000 fine or other criminal penalties.

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